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The year 2024 began for Tamizh industry with 2 big films release on Pongal. The first one was Dhanush’s Captain Miller and the other was Sivakarthikeyan’s Ayalaan. Both films even though collecting decently at the box office did not impress the critics that much. Following that Tamizh cinema did go through a drought in terms of content and success at the box office. All was not lost though as at the same time we did have movies like Lover and Garudan which were very good.
During that time the Tamizh YouTube content creators had a field day criticising the content and the industry. The one thing they realised as well was that criticising their industry actually got them new fans and subscribers. The constant videos putting down the industry and it’s content and appreciating other industries actually created a new fan base for these creators. The success of Malayalam cinema at the start of the year fueled this change among these creators. We all know how passionate Malayalam cinema fan base is and the Tamizh YouTube content creators took full advantage of that. The fact which was completely ignored during this time was that Tamizh cinema had a great 2023. Even at the end of the year a movie like Parking released to huge critical acclaim but these videos made everyone believe that the industry has been struggling for years.
The same people who posted a video a week to appreciate and promote other industries disappear completely when a good Tamizh cinema releases. This has been a trend and not something new to 2024. Even in the past few years when a good Tamizh content releases these so called experts disappear except for the movie review. There will be no follow up, no appreciation videos etc will be seen from these creators. The second half of the year has been brilliant so far from Tamizh cinema. Starting from the successful Maharaja films like Lubber Pandu, Kottukkali, Meiazhagan, Amaran, Thangalaan, Raayan, Vaazhai etc became critically acclaimed films.
Despite producing such widely accepted content in the second half the narrative of Tamizh cinema struggling is being propagated by these so called experts. Who are these YouTube experts? What is their credentials? Why do we give so much importance to their opinion? These are some questions the audience of these channels need to ask. Anyone who is reporting on something need to have some sort of journalistic ethics. Obviously none of these people have studied journalism have no clue what that means. The major cornerstone of journalism is integrity which many of these people lack. The other most important ethics of journalism is accountability, trust and truthfulness. When we look at these content being posted these days it is just done for the sake of increasing the subscribers count.
If any of these creators had integrity they would have at least posted some appreciation videos later in the year when Tamizh cinema produced some good content. The fact that there are more videos criticising and trolling Kanguva than appreciating a film like Meiazhagan shows the shallowness of these creators. The amount of appreciation videos we see of Meiazhagan, Vaazhai, Lubber Pandu etc from other language creators show how selfish and horrible Tamizh content creators are.
I am not saying don’t appreciate other language films, actually I am saying the opposite. Appreciate good content irrespective of the language and have some integrity when posting content. I agree it takes lots of effort to produce a video, edit it and publish the same and they obviously need subscribers to run a channel but what they are doing right now is unethical. Criticism is important for any industry and if you see content creators from other South Indian languages are harsh on poor content from their industry but none of them go to the extend Tamizh creators go. They don’t put down their industry to appreciate other regions to the level our creators do. Why is that I ask? Is it because we are so insecure that we are afraid of appreciating our industry? Is it because we think if Tamizh cinema is appreciated their subscribers will leave them? I am not completely sure but this needs to stop.
People who are jumping on such creators bandwagon are also to blame including other language fans who actually thing these people mean what they post. The fans and creators from other South Indian industries are way ahead of the so called experts from Tamizh. They not only appreciate other industry content but also post a balanced view of their own industry. When Malayalam cinema was doing so well earlier this year we did not see a Telugu YouTuber posting a video attacking their industry nor did we see Kannada content creators doing the same. So why are we doing this is a question we viewers need to ask as well. I don’t mind criticism as not everyone has to like a film. There are a lot of them who did not like Meiazhagan as well which fine as it is their prerogative but their needs to be some kind of fairness in the content they post on their channels. When you troll or post negative reviews of a film, appreciate good content as well. Don’t just post videos to appease fans from other industries for the sake of subscribers, it just looks bad.
I am not saying everyone is bad, there are a few good ones here and there but again when you have so many poor ones good one are hard to find. While social media has made it easier for a common man to dabble with journalism the ethics of such is role should still remain valid. While proper journalist and reviewers will refrain from trolling or posting polarising content just to increase subscribers these self proclaimed experts do it only for subscribers. I am a fan of Indian cinema and watch content from all languages if the content interests me. Never have I appreciated an industry just put down the other, even when talking with my friends. Good content comes from all industries and so do bad ones. At the end of the year every industry at the maximum will have only 10-15 films which remain in our minds. Even Malayalam industry known for its content cannot buck than trend. No one can say an industry produced 50 great films a year, that is not possible. The fact everyone knows and still we promote and support such creators who make us believe otherwise.
Let me start by saying that every one has a right to take a stand and support whoever they want. The problem is not the choice the industry has made, it is the way the they have handled the entire situation. The same people who have issues with the way Republic media has handled the case have gone on a rampage in attacking a man who is no more. A man who is loved by millions across the world and a man who cannot defend himself during this barrage.
Not a single person who is maligning Sushant know the man personally. Mr Anurag Kashyap says he had some issues with him professionally but he himself can admit that he did not know Sushant during the last year or so of his life. Taapsee Pannu says she does not know the star personally but has no problem in claiming that Sushant would have ended in jail if he was alive. I am not a Bollywood fan and despite my Delhi roots, I never liked the industry. The reason is not because of it’s content or talent but it is due to the hypocrisy which runs deeply within the industry.
The people who claim to have issues with the narrative of Republic have taken the same route themselves. Maligning someone who has lost their life and cannot speak for themselves is much worse that what you accuse the media of doing. It is fine to support anyone and raise your voice for a cause you believe in but at the same time you need to think if what you are doing is any different to what you claim to have issues with.
There is a family who lost their son, there are sisters who lost their brother, there are fans who lost their favourite star but none of you have any consideration regarding the same. Rhea still can defend herself and come out of this mess if she is not guilty but Sushant is never coming back, so the lack of sensitivity is jarring. Support or back whoever you want but stop tarnishing the legacy of a guy who had nothing but love for his fans and was respected and liked by all his co stars and technicians.
Mr Kashyap, has shared some meaningless chats to defend his choice of support. The only thing it showed was that he had problems with Sushant. Not even sure why he needs to defend himself if he feels right about the stand he has taken. Sushant isn’t here and he cannot put out counter chats to prove himself, so Mr Kashyap needs to understand this chat proved nothing and has no meaning in the overall picture. The only thing this showed is that he can hold a grudge for a long time which isn’t a great trait to be boasting about. At least Republic has taken a stand and has stuck by it and is ready to face any backlash they may be getting, Bollywood on the other hand want to take a stand but aren’t able to take the backlash that comes with it. This means they have taken the route of going on a slander campaign against the star which a certain media outlet has done as well.
Like I said earlier in this blog, I never liked Bollywood much but I still watched movies of Anurag Kashyap or Taapsee Pannu but now I have no urge to watch any Hindi film. The decision has nothing to do with the industry’s overwhelming support for Rhea, far from it. I just cannot take this hypocrisy anymore. Sushant was an actor I respected and loved and it was fitting that the last Hindi film I watched was of him.
I just hope people realise what they are doing wrong. People like Rajdeep, Anurag, Farhan, Taapsee, Sonam, please stand up for what you believe in but leave Sushant alone. Raise your voice for what you think is right but stop maligning someone who is no more when you have no clue of what was happening with him during his last days. I am not passing any judgement on who is right or wrong as the law will take it’s course. I am just saying don’t preach if you cannot follow. If you want people to take you seriously at least have some pride and believe in what you are standing up against, If not, your narrative comes out as hollow and meaningless.
I also have a small request for people who are standing for standing up for Rhea as well. Please continue to do so but keep in mind, to support someone you need not malign someone else. No one knew Sushant personally, we are all going by the narratives and counter narratives provided by the media channels. The only truth is that the man is no more, if we had an ounce of sensitivity we would refrain from calling names and hurling abuse.
You are saying #Stopthewitchhunt ,we fans are saying #StopslanderingSushant.
- In: Education | General | General Lunch Time talk | hardwork | Indian Cities | Real Life | School | Students | teachers
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School memories are special for everyone. Everyone at some point in their life when they look back, School forms major part of their lives. For me though I don’t remember much about my first 7 years in school. It just feels like a hazy blob without much structure, so let me directly skip to 8th grade of my school life. My parents both worked in a bank so transfer was a normal occurrence. This time they were posted to a rural branch close to Cuddalore. Since Cuddalore was a closest town/city to their branches we decided to make that our home for the next few years.
For me though moving wasn’t alien as we had already moved from Delhi to Chennai when I had completed my second grade. Cuddalore was a nice small town, it had 2-3 major schools, 4-5 theatres, some beaches and overall a good vibe. The biggest challenge for me was always adjusting to the new school. Even when I think about it now, 8th grade in that school X (Let’s call it that) in Cuddalore possibly was the reason I went in to my shell even more. I was never an extrovert but again the experience in that school in Cuddalore possibly pushed me over the edge.
I was never a brilliant student let me be very clear about the same, I did okay in my studies and probably sometimes punched above my weight. This is not to say I wasn’t interested in studies but I needed some good guidance and teaching to understand the concepts better when compared to others. I wasn’t in the top 20% of the class, nor was I in the bottom, I was somewhere in the middle. The Indian school system is brilliant for the students who are probably in the top 20% but have no proper method to deal with the rest.
Going to a new school that too in a place you are not familiar with was a daunting experience. I was new to the town, did not know many people and me being an introvert did not help either. Making friends in that school was tough. I don’t know for some reason the students in the class saw me like an alien and it was hard to gel with them. I had some terrible experiences in the class and I felt miserable throughout the year. Thanks for my one friend, let’s call him V who helped me to get through that nightmarish year. V was the typical top 20% student in the class but also was a great guy as he did not make friends only on the basis of marks and ranks. I also had my neighbour let’s call him JP, who became great friends with me when I moved in and we spent lots of time together and kind of shared similar problems at school.
There were some bullies in school and the fact that I wasn’t doing great in the class did not help matters either. The teachers in that school weren’t very helpful either. I wasn’t grasping the concepts and it became difficult to concentrate on anything without understanding what was going on. Maths became the toughest of all for me through the entire year and I really struggled. I still remember the one day when in the chemistry class, the teacher asked me a question and I did not know the answer. The guy practically humiliated me in front of the class by repeatedly asking me more questions, making fun of me along the way and also suggested something like I did not belong in 8th grade. That episode kind of left a deep scar in me and it made me to never ask any questions in the class even if I had a doubt.
The funny part is that the teachers in India do not realise that each student has different needs and all of them cannot grasp things at the same level. Scolding or hitting someone for not understanding something will not make them to understand it better. In such situations students do couple of things, one they try really hard to understand things on their own or resort to blindly mugging up the answers without understanding the concepts.
It is kind of inspirational for even me as to how I was able to turn a corner as the year progressed with all the subjects except for maths. I was able to improve through lots of hard work and dedication and was even appreciated by my class teacher in the class. That was one of the very few proud moments in that year. I should hand it to the math teacher though as she was the only person who actually thought she should do something about my troubles with her subject. She offered to spend some time after the school hours to teach me the concepts which she could not do in the class and it really helped me a lot. I really thank her for that. So the absolute nightmare which was the 8th grade was finally coming to an end and we were nearing the finals. My continued struggle with Math meant that I needed to do well in the finals to actually pass the year and my friend JP who had already failed a year had to pass this year to save some face with his family.
We both approached the final exams with lots of sincerity and thanks to my sister who spent a lot of time with me before the math exam, I think I did reasonably well and felt confident of the results. Exams were over and the summer break had started and I was extremely relieved to have gotten that break. Two months had passed after the exams and this was the time people get their results in the post. Those days it would be a post card from the school which will say either “PASS” or “FAIL” in it. Strangely both for JP and me the card never arrived. We spoke to some of our fellow students and realised that all of them had received them and my only friend V from the school had also received the same. Now both of us started panicking and did not know why we did not get the results. We decided to go to the school and check it out and since the school was closed for the summer break no one was in there.
When we started to reminisce what could be the problem we realised that couple of months ago we had a small tiff with the local post man. I don’t remember the exact reason though now but that was the reason for our cards not getting delivered. Both of us immediately reached the local post office and stood outside and spoke to few post men there and they advised us to apologise to our post man. We went in apologised to him and he finally handed over the card to us. The guy got a sadistic pleasure which we could see on his face when we came in all panicky looking for the results. We just gave what he wanted and he handed over the cards. All this was happening while we both still had no clue what that card said. When we finally got our cards, we saw the four letters we wanted to see “PASS”. The year was a total nightmare and possibly one of my worst school year and it rightly ended with equally stressful week or two.
Even though I felt happy for myself and JP I was dreading the fact that I need to go to school again in few weeks and have to spend another year with the same bunch of guys who made my life miserable the year before. I was just hoping for a better school year ahead and probably some new faces and friends when I start my 9th grade. All in that I was happy that I at least had V who would be with me in the year to follow as well. With that thought in mind I continued to enjoy the rest of the break with JP and rest of my neighbour friends who were fantastic by the way while waiting for another year in School X.
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Actor Siddharth (Left) and RJ Balaji (Right) started the relief work in Chennai with their #ChennaiMicro movement
When I first heard about the incessant rains in Chennai I had no clue about the devastation it had caused to the city I grew up in. When I later looked at the videos and photos it was really heart breaking. It really pained me that I was not there and was not able to help the people in need. This was the time I read an article and found few of the twitter posts by actor Siddharth and RJ Balaji. I do have twitter account but I hardly use it. Let me be honest, I am not a big social media fan. Even though I have Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp etc… I hardly use it.
Now when I logged on to twitter and looked at the posts and the number of people involved in making a difference I was completely inspired. I decided instead of feeling bad for not being present in Chennai during this time, I can do something worthwhile. So there began my involvement in doing something useful to help the people in need. The twitter proved that if used well social media is the most powerful tool in the current generation. I was able to help out people providing useful information or guiding them to the right contact being here in the US which would have not been possible like 15 years ago.
The other thing which was amazing was the number of young volunteers who were involved in the relief work. It was really inspiring to see how much they were working hard to help the people in need. I met lot of very good people and was able to help a few of them with their needs. It was truly amazing experience to be part of the work which was going on in full swing with their relief work in Tamil Nadu. The kind of pictures we saw of the floods meant that these volunteers braved their way in conditions which were extremely dangerous to help the people who needed food and supplies. There are not enough words to thank these countless volunteers who made the difference during these testing times for the state.
We need to thank actor Siddharth and RJ Balaji who started this movement and used the social media via their #ChennaiMicro movement to reach out to people. They have been brilliant and their team has done some amazing work in the Chennai and Cuddalore which were the most affected. The Tamil film industry in unison was completely involved in the relief work and it was brilliant to see how they were ready to help anyone who needed any supplies. I would also like to mention Khusbhu, Vishal, Vishnu, Karthi, Varalaxmi Sarathkumar, Karthik Kumar, Singer Suchitra, Shanthanu and countless others who joined the movement and were not only in social media but also were in the field helping people in need.
These are the real heroes. No amount of thanks can repay the efforts they put in during the time of adversity to help the people of the state. The people of Tamil Nadu have once again proven that humanity is bigger than any religion, caste or language.
I am so happy that I took to twitter a week ago as otherwise I wouldn’t have been so close to whatever relief work was happening in TN. I really want to salute all the heroes who decided to leave their homes and go on the streets and help people in need. I would also like to mention the countless brothers and sisters from all over the world (not only from India) who donated generously to help the relief work. The spirit of the people of TN has been heartwarming. Even though we were not getting much attention in the national media, the people brushed it off and helped themselves to recover from one of the largest natural calamity the state has faced since the tsunami of 2004.
I am really proud of my state and my city. I am really proud of the Tamil film industry. This has been really a rewarding experience and I would like to keep myself involved in every way possible in the state’s rehabilitation work.
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Re posting another of my Sachin Article as a tribute to the legend
Sachin Tendulkar is arguably one of the greatest ODI players ever to grace the cricket field. He gave joy to countless cricket fans over the years with his breathtaking stroke play in the limited overs cricket. He has finally decided to close the curtain’s on his illustrious ODI career. A career which spanned for 23 years and yielded 18426 runs at a brilliant average 44.83 with 49 hundreds. He was for sure the best ODI player of his times. The only time I saw Sachin bat live was the game against Pakistan in a test match in 1999. Even though this is not an ODI innings, I have decided to post this as this was one of the most memorable moment of my life as an Indian cricket fan. This is first of my many tributes to my favorite cricketer. A player I have grown up watching. A player who…
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Unity in Diversity, really?
Posted on: January 30, 2013
- In: Chennai | Delhi | General | General Lunch Time talk | Humanity | Indian Cities | Languages and Politics | Noida | postaweek2011 | Real Life
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This article remains relevant due to the constant issues in India based on religion, caste etc..
Well I was in 10th standard when I first heard the term “Unity in Diversity” in my civics class. That was an attempt to teach the kids about the greatness of our country and the different languages and cultures India posses from Jammu to KanyaKumari. It was 15 years ago and when I look back now I feel what have we learnt? We are still fighting based on language, religion, region and what not. So what does that one chapter in the book accomplish?
India is a country with a beautiful history and tradition going thousands of years back. The country is made of 28 states and speaks thousands of languages and dialects with 22 of them being official. Each state in India almost has their language as an official language other than English of course. So the country has lots of divide from various avenues. People eat different, look…
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Longing for love
Posted on: January 30, 2013
- In: Charity | Chennai | Food | General | General Lunch Time talk | Humanity | Indian Cities | Kids | Real Life | Udavum Karangal
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While browsing through the World Wide Web I came across couple of wonderful yet moving article about a charity organization in my home town. Reading the same clearly brought some tears to my eyes and yet I was proud that I was involved in making a difference in these children’s lives. I have been involved with this organization for 5 years now and have been sponsoring 3 kids. I am really happy that I have been able to bring some happiness to these kids. I just hope that god gives me more wealth so that I can take care of more kids in the future and see these kids happy as they should be.
http://blogs.rediff.com/notanobserver/2006/08/
http://blogs.rediff.com/notanobserver/2006/06/10/udavum-karangal/
Isn’t it just common sense?
Posted on: January 30, 2013
People talk about creative freedom, secularism but for me it boils down to just common sense. The things that have been happening in Tami Nadu are unfair on the brilliant creator that is Mr Kamal Hassan. I am a big admirer of Kamal Hassan’s work. Let me be clear I am no fan boy. I love good cinema and Kamal Hassan has provided that in abundance.
When Viswaroopam released and when I learnt that it deals with terrorism I did not expect it to create such a furor. We have had countless movies releasing in India on similar themes, so I thought this movie will be considered one among them but that is not to be. Viswaroopam was banned by Tamil Nadu government and subsequently by other governments in India and abroad.
I can’t believe that in this day and age people actually believe that a movie can cause security issue. It is sad that one of India’s finest creators has to suffer due to some political agenda.
Kamal Hassan has talked about moving out of Tamil Nadu and even the country if the justice is not served. It will be a shame for the nation/state if such a thing happens. Creative people like Kamal Hassan are nation’s pride. The kind of jewel we all need to cherish and celebrate. India is the only country where their legends are treated with so much contempt. The government needs to wake up and put an end to this madness.
The creative freedom on an actor and creator needs to be upheld. It is sad to see the great man talking about bankruptcy and losing his home. It is even astonishing that the government hasn’t done anything to avert this situation. The perplexing thing is that the Tamil film association has kept mum on this issue. Few actors including our superstar have voiced in their support but as an association they should have stood behind their own.
It is nice to see the support of the fans for the movie. I hope that everyone continues to support the movie and keep our beloved icon in his home state. I hope that the Supreme Court intervenes and overturns the ban on the film. An icon like Kamal deserves better and we cannot let the constitution down.
Kamal Hassan is one of India’s finest actor/director. He has given us numerous classics and is very much responsible for taking Indian cinema overseas.
- In: Chennai | Cricket | Cricket and Sports | India | Indian Cities | Legends | ODI | ODI | postaweek2011 | Sachin tendulkar | Teams | Test | test cricket | Test match | World Cup 2011
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Sachin Tendulkar is arguably one of the greatest ODI players ever to grace the cricket field. He gave joy to countless cricket fans over the years with his breathtaking stroke play in the limited overs cricket. He has finally decided to close the curtain’s on his illustrious ODI career. A career which spanned for 23 years and yielded 18426 runs at a brilliant average 44.83 with 49 hundreds. He was for sure the best ODI player of his times. The only time I saw Sachin bat live was the game against Pakistan in a test match in 1999. Even though this is not an ODI innings, I have decided to post this as this was one of the most memorable moment of my life as an Indian cricket fan. This is first of my many tributes to my favorite cricketer. A player I have grown up watching. A player who was the reason I developed this deep love towards this wonderful game. This is the account of the brilliant game which took place in my home town Chennai as I remember it.
This was in 1999 when Pakistan and India met in bilateral series after a hiatus of 12 years. There was a lot of hype around the series and the first test was held in my hometown, Chennai. As a young cricket fan I had two wishes, one to watch my idol Sachin Tendulkar score a hundred live and the other to watch team India win a test match.
The Chennai test was an incredible one, completely worth of all the hype surrounding its start. Pakistan team was filled with great bowlers and incredible batting line up and India prior to this series were unbeatable at home. The battle of Sachin with Waqar, Wasim and Saqlain was much talked about prior to the series. The game began and both teams were neck and neck after the first innings. India gained a slender lead of 16 after the first innings and Saqlain Mushtaq enhanced his reputation of being the best young spinner in the world at that time with a 5 wicket haul.
Pakistan began their second innings on a positive note and in spite of losing wickets at regular intervals, it seemed like they would set India a huge total to chase. Afridi was great with a brilliant hundred and with useful contributions from Ijaz and Inzamam, Pakistan was well on course for a huge total. At 275/4, already leading by 259 India’s chances seemed glum when Venkatesh Prasad probably bowled one of the best spells of his career. He took 6/33 as Pakistan collapsed to 286 as their last 6 wickets fell for just 11 runs. India began their second inning needing 271 to win with more than 2 days to go.
Indian second innings did not get to an ideal start as Waqar dismissed both the Indian openers with just 6 runs on the board as Sachin Tendulkar joined Rahul Dravid in the middle. Both these players took India to safety without further loss and it was all set for a brilliant 4th day at the MA Chidambaram stadium. This was when I got a chance to go to the stadium. I had watched the first 3 days on television and my uncle who could not go to the ground on the 4th day, offered me the ticket and along with my cousins I headed to the ground with lots of expectations.
We reached the ground early and watched the players practice. This was my first visit to any international match and it was really exciting to see the players warm up ahead of a great game of cricket. The crowd cheered as Sachin and Dravid walked out to bat, to continue India’s chase. Wasim Akram’s peach on the fourth morning went through the wall’s defenses as India was in early trouble at 50/3. Azhar and Ganguly got out to poor decisions to leave India tottering at 82/5 when Nayan Mongia walked out to join Sachin Tendulkar.
Both these players saw India through to lunch and in a sedate partnership took India to tea with 5 wickets still in hand. The match was in balance and we in the crowd knew that a wicket at that point will mean that India had no chance. After tea though the mood changed, Sachin and Mongia had decided to attack and the runs flowed quickly and India were racing towards the target. It was exhilarating to watch the proceedings as the bowling attack of Pakistan was brilliant and the world’s best player was involved in a fierce battle to win the game for his country. It was a privilege to watch Sachin counter Saqlain on a wicket which was turning square. He was battling back spasm too in the middle of all this which made this innings even greater. Sachin reached one of his best hundreds and I was in the stands applauding. This was one of the best moments for me as a cricket fan.
India was 218/5 with just 53 to get and we could see Pakistan losing hope. They had taken the new ball to no avail as Mongia and Sachin were scoring runs at a fair clip. This is when Mongia decided to display one of the biggest brain freezes of his career. Trying to loft Wasim over the top, got himself caught at mid-off leaving a struggling Sachin to take India to victory along with the tail. Sachin got out to Saqlain trying finishing the game with only 13 needed and the Indian tail collapsed in a hurry as India fell short of the Pakistan total. It was a heartbreaking loss and a very hard one to take as an Indian fan. It was so near yet so far for the Indian team.
When the game was over unlike all the other grounds in India, in spite of an Indian loss the crowd stuck around. Then one of the most brilliant thing happened when even now when I think back makes me proud of being an Indian. The Chennai crowd rose in appreciation of the Pakistan team as the victorious neighbors took a victory lap in India. Who would have thought that it was even possible? It was a brilliant moment as the fans clapped till the end and it was a victory for the game. Chennai is considered as one of the most knowledgeable crowds in India and I saw it with my own eyes for the first time. Even though there was a disappointment of an Indian loss that evening, I was proud as a cricket fan. Cricket is a sport and it’s beyond borders and the crowd that day proved the same. I got one of my wish granted that day but had to wait for another 3 years to watch India win a test match but that memory will forever be etched in my mind.
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