My Thoughts

Growing up in India, I was never particularly interested in academics. Going to school felt like a chore, and I rarely focused on improving myself in the classroom. The fact that I still managed to graduate and earn two degrees was largely due to the push I received from my parents and, of course, some hard work on my part.

I cannot really blame my parents, as they were products of their time. In the 1980s and 1990s, careers outside the traditional professional fields were rarely considered viable. While growing up, all I ever wanted was to somehow associate myself with cricket. I was obsessed with the game and wanted to do something that would keep me close to the sport. An engineering degree was about as far removed from that passion as possible.

Like many people I knew, I completed my engineering degree and then, at the insistence of my parents, boarded a plane to the United States to pursue a Master’s degree. The next few years of my life were a roller coaster ride. Studies, learning to manage myself, handling finances, and dealing with the pressure of finding a job after graduation defined that period.

There was a great deal of uncertainty, and with a large bank loan and mounting credit card bills weighing heavily on my shoulders, finding a job quickly was my only option. Things were not always rosy. I faced numerous rejections along the way and was even cheated by a consulting firm. Yet, with nearly $40,000 in debt, giving up was never really an option. After a couple of months of relentless hustling and applying for countless positions, Lady Luck finally smiled on me when I landed a job in August 2005.

A few days later, I flew to San Francisco to begin work. I was understandably nervous, as it was the first job of my life. The first few months were fairly mundane. I worked in technical support on night shifts, which meant there was very little excitement. The highlight of many nights was watching a colleague brew a full pot of coffee and somehow manage to drink all of it before the shift ended.

One night, while searching for a movie review, I stumbled across a blog. The blogger reviewed Tamil films and seemed a lot like me, living in the United States and probably working in IT. I started reading his posts, and in a sudden burst of inspiration decided to create a blog of my own.

I was not a good writer, nor had I ever done anything remotely similar, but I felt the need to create something. I signed up on Blogspot and launched my first blog, GirisOpinion. Initially, it was simply a place where I could pour out my thoughts about the sport I loved. Over time, however, it became much more than that.

Writing blog posts kept me sane during the first few months of my job, when I was working twelve-hour night shifts. Doing something you do not truly enjoy can drain you, and I had been experiencing that feeling ever since my engineering college days. The blog became an outlet, a way to distract myself from the stress and pressures of everything happening around me.

Whenever I sat down to write, my mind focused on nothing except the topic in front of me. For that brief period, everything else faded into the background.

A few years later, I moved to WordPress and never looked back. The blog evolved into something much bigger than I had originally imagined. It was no longer just a way to stay connected to the sport I loved. It became a space where I could share my thoughts on virtually any topic under the sun.

I never considered myself a great writer, but that never stopped me from wanting to write and maintain the blog. Over the last few years, however, things have not always been smooth. There has been a great deal of stress, and much of what has happened has been beyond my control. I moved to an entirely different continent for a new job, and with that came a fresh set of challenges.

Many times over the past few years, I have wondered whether it was finally time to close this chapter of my life. I hardly find the time to write anymore. Yet, every time I seriously consider shutting the blog down, something stops me.

I pause and reflect, and then I realize that this is not just a blog to me. It is something that helped me navigate some very difficult years after moving alone to the United States more than two decades ago. It gave me moments of peace and clarity amid the chaos. It provided an escape when I needed one the most.

That is why I keep going.

Even though I have not been able to write much lately, mostly because of what I can only describe as mental fatigue, I simply cannot bring myself to close the blog. It means far more to me than the articles I publish. It represents a journey, a passion, and a part of my identity.

The blogger who inspired me to start writing decided to stop a few years ago, but I am not there yet. So for now, I keep renewing the domain and returning whenever I can. This blog is more than a collection of articles; it is a record of my journey, a refuge during difficult times, and a reminder of who I am. Here’s to a few more years of writing, reflection, and finding peace through words.